Out of the blue, I asked the Lord one night to show me what to blog this week; and sitting at my desk at work, yesterday's patrol story surfaced in my memory and I quickly outlined it.

At lunch, without going into detail I mentioned to the King what I was writing about. He proudly responded, “Oh! I was a captain, and I got to wear the cool leather belt with a silver badge!”

I was shocked that I didn’t remember that. But I don’t, and after some reflection, I think I know why. Because of shame at being kicked off patrol, I effectively buried everything related to it. It’s been scores of years since I’ve thought about it, and I doubt that I’ve ever talked about it.

After my conversation with the King, I seriously considered not posting it for the pangs of remembering and revealing my disgrace.

How deep are the scars of one’s youth!!

God is so good to me in that area, though. Because He loves to see me grow up into all that He designed me to be, He gently brings that cruddy stuff to the surface so He and I can deal with it.

So, today I acknowledge my irresponsibility and anger, resentment and shame and receive God's forgiveness, freely given. I forgive myself for being late and bouncing a ball which caused me to be kicked off patrol. I forgive the kids who didn’t have to go out in bad weather (and their parents). I forgive my squad captain for that last demerit and liking my friend and not me. I forgive Miss Voight, our principal, for not taking the time to understand the whole picture.

Isn't it just like God? He answered my prayer for a blog post and did so much more. Cleaning up the past, especially the seemingly little things: freedom, peace, joy.

For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15